Saturday, October 29, 2016

Dear Wifey - Dreamer and Doer

Our life is made up of time. Our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years. And yet time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could. - Cecelia Ahern
Dear Wifey,

It has been two years since my last letter. You often ask me where is another dear wifey. In 2012 there were almost 200 of them, In 2013 there were only slightly above 50, in 2014 it was less than 10, in 2015 there was no letter at all, and here is the first letter of 2016 and hopefully not the only one.

I found the quote above when searching an inspiring quote about time. Coincidentally the quote was from Cecelia Ahern, the author of P.S. I Love You, the story where the idea of this dear wifey correspondence came from. And I couldn't agree more with my mind state relating to the quote and I asked myself where are those years have gone?

What I realised as I am getting older, I still haven't achieved most of my dreams and contributed something useful to people around me and our parents are also getting older while we might still couldn't pay their kindness. What I also realised, I have been too long stay as a dreamer instead of doer.

As an avid dreamer, I have very long todos, life goals and bucket list, that I grouped into different life aspect categories. I often spent sometime to groom the list, have a bunch of reading list that linked to the todos. I read a lot of articles and books in helping me to have clearer understanding and strategy of how to reach and approach the todos. And after I have done all of them I have never started. Few weeks a go I posted one very nice quote that also accurately describe me.
Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
And there was I, standing still.

At the other side of equation, you are never blabbering too much about to do list, life goals, bucket list. You are an executor. Different with me, when you suddenly think want to reach something, you didn't spend too much time in over-preparation. You just start the first step and keep moving. One example is about your willingness to study again. From the first day you consider to go to school again, you immediately make action list. You immediately contacted all of your friends to get school and professor recommendation, read all papers related to your research plan, book an IELTS test, and continuously doing all actionable item every day.

While I have spent in countless time in books, Quora threads, hackernews articles trying to find answer how is to reach a goal effectively, you have taught me by example. The first step to reach any goal is to start your first step toward it. Even if it is slow it much better than standing still. So that in future that will come we will have a good question whether all of those time were being spent the best way they possibly could.

PS: I love you

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Dear Wifey - Life Milestone

This letter draft has been written few days back and left uncomplete until just today.

Dear Wifey,

Software development project management has terminology called milestone. It is a guidelines for what the project need to complete in future time. The future in this context should be specific so that there is no such easy way to procrastinate. I believe this approach should be done in my life, and since my life consists you then lets we call it our life milestone.

In few days, if everything going well we will have a place called home (it should be read as rented home actually). I hope it will help us in planning what we would like to achieve in the times that will come. Several of those plans might be quite pragmatic, let start write the list what we expect to achieve within 1 year forward. Some of the list might be over optimist and unrealistic but under the sun everything is possible nothing impossible. Eventhough again my less ambition life and easy to give up habit will really need so much attention to make sure all of those milestone will be keep on track.

Having babies Going umrah Buy a house Buy a car Buy a motorbike Have plenty of saving include one urgent saving Have an investment in small business and in stock market (work for other will not make you rich) Settled in better career or find independent job (applied for both of us) Having another awesome world travel Write book (for me and I invite you as well) Let start with book about our awesome eurotrip Continue higher degree study (phd for wifey and master for hubby) and please add other things that I missed...

I have a blessing disguise that my current work nature is not too demanding. Its mean we should have plenty of time to arrange our future life in our spare time. The job is sometime fun but sometime less challenging. I have to more thankful by my stay in Nurman place and learn how he work extremely hard, going to office before 6am and arrive home sometime after 9pm. From there I learn that we should appreciate and use our spare time effectively and efficiently in achieving our dream.

Of course this comfort zone should not hold me forever. I wish we can advance in more challenging and fulfilling life again ahead. Move to US, Europe or Australia for example? Working at google, twitter or airbnb? Resume study in awesome school while have passive income from our side business. Or else just build and start our own awesome business from one peacefull comfort our own villa in outer skirt of Yogyakarta will be cool isn't it? Let just add more another awesome wildest dream that we can ever think. For now, I would like not just stop the dream to stay inside the list but want to bring those outside papers to be something true.

PS: I love you

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Dear Wifey - Argopuro

Dear wifey,

Ini adalah edisi perdana dear wifey setelah hilang terbit selama 3 bulan dikarenakan editor utamanya terlalu sibuk menangani kelakuan-kelakuan absurd nan menggemaskan dari sang istri.

Kereta Logawa pun meninggalkan stasiun Jember beberapa menit lewat dari pukul 5.10 pagi. Matahari masih temaram bersembunyi di balik horizon dan mulai muncul pelan-pelan. Di kanan kiri banyak rumah penduduk dan sesekali persawahan, sungai dan jalan desa yang terlewati. Tapi yang paling mengesankan adalah sosok raksasa nan cantik yang puncaknya dikelilingi Awan berbalut cahaya orange Dari mentari yang terus menanjak. Kubuka peta di handphone ternyata namanya adalah Argopuro. Dari semua pemandangan itu tersadar diri bahwa betapa Maha Baik Allah memberikan begitu banyak rejeki, anugerah dan kenikmatan kepada kita. Betapa beruntungnya juga aku berkesempatan menikmati pemandangan itu karena mengenalmu.

Dear wifey, sejak beberapa hari ini sejak kembali dari Eropa rasanya hati ini tidak enak mengingat fakta bahwa kita masih harus berpisah lagi sementara waktu. Setelah hampir 2 tahun berpisah akhirnya kita diberi kesempatan berkumpul tak terpisahkan hampir selama 3 bulan terakhir. Tentunya dengan segala konflik yang sesekali terjadi dan yang mungkin sebagian besar dipicu oleh keegoisan aku. Terima kasih untuk kesabaranmu yang nyaris tak berbatas. Hari ini akhirnya aku harus kembali lagi merajut hidup untuk masa depan kita berdua kelak. Sayangnya harus melalui perpisahan sementara.

Dear wifey, jaga kesehatan selama sementara kita jauh. Tentu juga jaga shalat dan ibadah adalah yang terutama. Jangan berhenti belajar meski telah usai bersekolah. Dari sejak awal kenal hingga sekarang engkau selalu menjadi inspirasiku. Juga di saat yang bersamaan menjadi senyum dan gelak tawa berasal.

Insya Allah akan kutunggu dalam beberapa hari ke depan di bandara Changi Singapura untuk kita berdua merajut mimpi besar masa depan kita. Menggapai keluarga samara, sejahtera, bermanfaat dan penuh petualangan.

Salam rindu tak terputus dari lelaki yang masih terus harus belajar untuk menjadi suami yang baik bagi bidadarinya. Doa-doamu adalah pembentuk jalur ekspres dalam mewujudkan mimpi-mimpi kita.

PS: I love you

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Dear wifey - Frankfurt I am in love

It has been almost 2 years we are mostly away. I still cannot believe that Insya Allah in several days from now we will meet in the blue continent. Like I have written sometime a go. PS: I love you, please wait me in the beautiful city of Frankfurt.

Sometime I pray a lot. Although sometime I stupidly arrogant for not praying. The great things are most of my pray is always answered. Some immediately, some with delay and some other with something better. As God promise that never missed. I got you as my wife is one example. I can work in Singapore with very sufficient income is another sample. I feel health, safe and comfort. How dumb I am if still cannot grateful for all those things? Luckily I am not dumb. I feel so much grateful and to be more grateful is one of continues pray that often I send to God.

However there are some pending prays. To have babies and to get PhD. Patiently and consistently I am walking slowly but sure to approach that wish. Thanks for you that keep reminding me to be more patient and just resigned after present our best effort for our wish. Let God decide what is the best outcome. Good in our perspective doesn't meet it is really good. Allah knows better than us.

Thank you for always being the greatest partner in my life. See you in Frankfurt in couple of days.

PS: I love you

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Dear wifey - The Hungry Human

Dear wifey,

It has been a few weeks again since my last dear wifey. At least it can show how easy to start something, however how it difficult to maintain commitment. I am so sorry I am still not good example of this.

Let start with how peaceful seeing you sleep. Open mouth cute like usual while Garu goggle his eyes in the background. So funny. In a few days Insya Allah I will be there to play with you. Might be when you sleep with that open mouth, I will slip in my tongue inside your lip and you will wake for a moment, push me back and sleep again.

In these few days I didn't do much things. I go to CGH everymorning. The work environment there is little bit strange. Our office located in helpdesk center. So that every minute some phone will rings. Not the best place to code peacefully. Luckily the assignment will end very soon. Most of the people there are pinnoy. I don't know why it is difficult to maintain good streotype to Phillipinos nowadays especially after some bad experience from bad attitude that silly flat mate couple. Even though actually I believe many pinnoy that must be also nice. Some of my colleague in office and even in CGH during last christmast party they invite me to enjoy some foods that they bring and order. Daily at last some hi also quite often coming from their mouth. Lesson learned, stop streotyping even though how stereotyping people seems so much true.

Moving to the next topic. In some last days I read trilogy of Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games. Little bit late because they hype was rising since 2008 but I just read right now. The story is more or less about game of hunger. In not exactly described dystopian future world are not same like now. Some undescribed disaster have changed our world. There is Panem one country in where North America was. Every year Panem held The Hunger Games, gathering one boy and one girl from every district in Panem chosen by lotery. The boys and girls have to kill each other in arena of Hunger Games. It seems sadistic and it is. However it still bring some moral message. First about killing each other itself. It has been true right now in the real form and in not obvious form. In Indonesia just see student fighting. Tawuran. They are seem not afraid to harm or even kill each other. In non obvious form let see about political drama in our country again. Some people will do anything to get position in goverment. Not to server people but more for their own advantage. Second the books (and the movie) remind us that our world is not owned by us. We have to inherite this to our next generation.

So those are some sharing this morning. I fell little bit sleepy again. Might be will have to sleep for 1 or 1.5 hours.

PS: I love you. See you in Frankfurt in couple of days.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Dear wifey - Cascading Our Dream

Dear wifey,

I was starting to write simple dear wifey letter. However the topic become too much heavy, so that I will publish this as blog post as well. :p

There two problem relate to human passion. First person who cannot find their passion. Second, person who know his passion but restricted to reach it.

Passion is the most important thing that drive us in life. It is our fuel and also our GPS for direction guidance. According to summary of talk Tim Ferris talk that I took from Arman Sulamanov tumblr, Tim had shared about the way to find our passion. We can find it by ask these two simple questions, what did you do when you were 12 and what would you do event if you weren't paid.

*How to find passion*

Let me remember what I would like to be when I was 12. I don't remember exactly whether it was at 12 but there is one of my child want to be dream. I want to be an astronaut. It was triggered by some astro scince book that I read when I was stay with my uncle during my elementary school time. I read about NASA space shuttle, international space station and US Apollo project, especially Apollo 11. I dream to be the next Neil Armstrong.

As my age increased, sometime our dream and passion also evolved. Evolved because we find something that we interest more or could be also because constraint around us that make we adjust our passion. One day around my high school time, I went to bank to save my small saving. I had small talk with the bank teller. He asked me what major that I plan to take in university. I answered that I haven't think about that yet. The teller reply me again, be a computer programmer, he said. That job currently in high demand so that much company will offers good income. I immediately imaging going to office with nice laptop in my backpack (at that time laptop is something that still super duper luxurious) and spent whole time coding in front of computer. Not long after that I ended up taking electrical engineering major in university. Interestingly, after finishing my study, instead of being electrical engineer or teacher (my degree has minor in Education) I became programmer.

It has been 5 years + I work professionally in that job. Periodically sometime I ask myself, am I drive in correct direction? Everytime I answer myself, should be yes. I enjoy most of the time I work. I like to write code even how dizzy is it. I like to play with software development tools, exploring new technology, learning new programming language and dreaming to build my own startup. Even though it will sound naive, but definitily I can state I will happily coding eventhough I will not get paid. According of previous charateristic description it seems that I already found my passion.

How to adjust passion

Few days back suddenly I found interesting enlightment. Suddenly I want to be a pilot. Pilot is something that quite related to my childhood astronout dream. I understand this might be simple twisted thinking that could be not too serious but also could be serious. That willing is triggered by hackernews link that point me to interesting blog of ex programmer that became bush pilot. Also triggered with GTA V game that I play recently. However this finding arise some interesting discourse.

Some person lucky enough could be anything they want since beginning. They are capable financially to reach their dream. Many people want to be a doctor but only some that could pay the tuition. Many children want to be a pilot but also not all can afford the expenses. Regarding those facts, I found the answer about adjusting passion.

It is never late to chase your dream. Few years back I was listening radio talk in Jakarta that invite interesting guy name Alexander Lay. He had worked in oil and gas company for few years with very descent income. He said that time, his savings will suffice him with very descent life for 7-10 years without working. We could imagine how large his income. However he found that his job is not his passion. He actually interest with law. Then at one point of time he decide to stop from his job and take law under graduate study for some years and became a lawyer. If you cannot afford to be something in past time, chase your passion at the time you can afford it. Like I have written about Matt Dearden, he was programmer but realize that his passion in flying. After have sufficient saving, he stop work and take flying course for few years and start career as commercial pilot.


After having some experience in finding our passion in life we should inherit this experience to the others. The closest one could be our children. I haven't had any children yet, but not long from now I want to present one luxury that I don't have when I was child: guidance to find their passion. I want to be a consultant of my children about chasing the dream. I also really want to be supporter of their passion chasing either financially or motivationally. They will be free to chase any of their dream as long as always maintain good deeds in their life. I called this action as cascading the dream. Next generation must be better than current one.

PS: I love you

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Dear wifey - How to have an awesome life

Dear wifey,

Human live in this earth only in limitted time. In this era, average life expetancy is around 60 years. We could have some bonuses for some extra years or on the other side we could also have less years. Nobody will know when exactly died will approach. The most important thing we only have one life. There is no green mushrom like in Super Mario Bross that give us extra life after we died. Most meme hate this tag line YOLO, but it is very true that You Only Live Once. So let spent it wisely.

There are not a sin to life just usual. However, I catch one nice quote about few years back. I don't exactly remember from where I got that. Perhaps even I was the one who originally created it. The quote sounds "Life is too precious if just to be ordinary." We have only one life with limited time span then why don't we spend it in awesome way?

Here are two important things that I considered important to be an awesome person. First is we should be an awesomely honest and awesomely nice person. Most religious people beliefs there will be another eternal life after this where we will be granted for what we did in this life. Logically it will be ridicolous chasing some material things with not honest way and feeds our family with such dirty income. However still many people do. The act of robbing not always must be in obvious way. Corruption either in form of time and money is one common example that happen in many places on earth. Life honestly, only consume a clean income and always be nice with other is one important thing that we should do first.

Second is going the extra miles. I got this quote from Negeri 5 Menara (Country of 5 towers) novel wrote by A. Fuadi. Very nice three sequels of novel to boost our motivation in life. The poin of this quote is do our best in every aspects of our life and let God decide what is the best outcome for every particular current situation. Wifey always advice me one of greatest suggestion I ever received. "Always try immediately every potential opportunity and challenge that inline with your interest and vision. Let decide what should we do later after getting the outcome." Example, I have applied so many scholarships in this 3 years and indeed still no one succed yet. Who cares about the failure? It might hurt you at beginning. Whatever that doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Do self evaluation, analyze improvement that can be done and then reapply again. We might be still fail again but at least we will learn so much. Just do the first step and let decide the next step after gettinf the first outcome. If succed later we decide what to do and if not succed what kind of strategy adjustment we can do.

Continue to elaborate further do our best and going the extra miles. If other people fail one times and give up, don't be like that. Don't bother to fail hundreeds time and keep going further with every strategy adjusment that we need. If other people study for 2 hours per night let make it 3 hours for us. If other people can finish work assignment in 4 hours find a way so we can finish earlier. Not only for such example, other sample is if other people spent his time from growth up until die in one place then we should go to explore the world. There are too many beautiful place that we should missed it on earth. Go to Europe, America, Middle East to any place that we can. Travel always bring positive insight in our life. Luckly it was rooted in one of my passion. Be different, be original and be yourself. Because once more life is too precious if just to be ordinary.

PS: I love you